Yesterday one of the blogs my daughter follows on Tumblr held a contest for the person who is precious to you. They want stories about how lives can be changed by others. I thought I should tell my followers how my daughter inspires me.
By reading her post here, you can read about all she faces every day. Despite all the trauma and all the shit she’s been put through, she gets up every morning and tries to find ways to make other people’s lives better. She is such an inspiration for just being who she is every day no matter what people say or how much they hurt her, she perseveres: not the person they want her to be. She is herself and no one can change that.
I love her more than I could ever express, and I hope to someday reach her level of commitment to become the person I want to be.
When I first started dating, many moons ago, I used to try and change myself for each guy I went out with. I pretended to like heavy metal for a headbanger when I was a teenager. I spent over a year with a guy who enjoyed rock climbing and I went climbing with him way more often than I wanted to. I even spent many nights watching Ace Ventura’s dumb ass on one boyfriend’s couch, and told him it was fine. Blech. I look back on that young woman and I wish I hadn’t made all those mistakes. But our mistakes make us who we are, right?
These days I don’t let guys’ interests determine what I do. Instead, I let his interests determine if I want to do him. I spend my time doing what I want, and I only meet guys who do what I enjoy, instead of those who want me to do what they like. Don’t get me wrong. I will go to a play I haven’t seen, and try out a new game. But if I know I don’t enjoy an activity, then it’s going to be something he does without me or something he doesn’t do. I have found my self-worth, and it has decreed that I don’t spend time with men doing things I don’t enjoy just to spend time with him.
I live in a rural part of south Texas. It’s hot and humid when it’s snowing in other parts of the country. When the summers get up in the triple digits, you will no longer see me out camping. I don’t want to do it, so I don’t. It might be different if one of my kids had the sudden overwhelming urge to spend days sweating and hiking. But that’s mostly because they spend so much time indoors that I would relish their desire to get out of the house and give up their electronics in favor of time with me and their sibling. But no longer will the possibility of getting laid lead to a boring or painful activity for me.
I will be me all the time. I will not hold punches to make him feel better. I will tell him that I don’t want to spend all day on a boat only to go home smelling like fish so strong that I have to burn the clothes I was wearing and shower fifteen times to get the smell out. I play Dungeons and Dragons at least once a week. I enjoy comic conventions and one of my biggest dreams is going to E3 someday. My boyfriend knows who I am, and if he didn’t like me, then we wouldn’t have lasted this long. My kids like me, my family likes me, and I like me. Now that I’m all grown up, that’s enough for me.
Have you noticed any changes in your attitude toward dating and changing yourself?
Out of respect for my kids and my family, I will be taking some time to celebrate with them and enjoy the holiday season. I have one post scheduled for Friday, then you won’t hear from me until January unless something really cool happens that I feel I must share with the world.
In honor of Motivation Monday, I will leave you with the words of one of my favorite authors, to remind us that sometimes we must stop working in order to find time to think:
“Gods don’t like people not doing much work. People who aren’t busy all the time might start to think.” ~ Terry Pratchett
According to this article on Gamespot, the much awaited (at least in my household) sequel to the much loved (again, my house is the guidepost for these figures) game Psychonauts is off to a promising start making over one third of its total Fig goal in one night.
Its goal: $3.3 million
It’s raised: $1,178,625
I’m thinking my household is not the only one that can’t wait to see a sequel to this game. To pledge money or invest in Psychonauts 2, click here. I receive no rewards or benefits from your clicking on these links, except the potential reward of getting to play this game!
Unlike video game RPG’s, tabletop RPG’s allow you to create your character in whatever order you want. If you’ve got a Player’s Handbook (PHB), you can read through the entire thing and create some pretty awesome characters. For most Dungeons and Dragons fans, that’s more than enough for them. For some of us, these characters don’t quite fit our idea for the character we want to create. What many players (especially new ones) don’t realize is that D&D actually gives you rules for creating almost any kind of character you want. Read on to find out how I created a wood elf with a fear of humans.
One of my favorite quotes from the Garth Brooks song “Against the Grain” speaks of standing out of the crowd in order to make a difference in the world. This is a lesson I’ve tried very hard to instill in my kids. Mr. Brooks says it so well, as so many songwriters can that we must do our best to change the world to become a better place.
I spent the evening with family and friends, enjoying their company and having fun over a wonderful meal. My mom, my kids, my boyfriend, and a friend of mine joined me for an early Thanksgiving dinner tonight. I was reminded of an old saying, “tomorrow is a gift, not a promise”. I think we made tonight one less moment of not living.
In searching for a quote for Motivation Monday, I came across this gem. I’m not sure if it was really Ginger Rogers who said it, but the words themselves speak to me. This is a phrase I have lived by when it comes to raising my kids, because I know for a fact from the way I treated things given to me versus things I earned that it’s true. I have taken much better care of the car I bought myself than all the cars before them that were given to me. My daughter has also proven it to me with her treatment of her phone.
Spider-Man has always been one of my favorite comic series. I mean come on. He’s in love with MJ. Which is short for Mary Jane. Which is so much cooler than what my MJ stands for, but still. It turns out that Spider-Man has been even cooler for other reasons. Rant and love for Planned Parenthood ahead, if you want to turn back now.